called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
