Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
