and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
