You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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