why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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