i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
