I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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