He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
