oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
