You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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