I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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