Best friends brother. Beat that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
