That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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