Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
