I bet he comes in French.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So much rum. So many feels.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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