Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
