i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
