the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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