It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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