Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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