Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
