Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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