Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
