We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
