I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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