Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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