"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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