nut hugger
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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