i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
