5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
