he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
