giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
