its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
