Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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