I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
