He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
