Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
