so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
