You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize