no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
