New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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