My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
