uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
