Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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