the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
