does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
