I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
