It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
