Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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