even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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