watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize