We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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