So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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