Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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