Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
