Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize