Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
