I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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