I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think people are normalizing furries
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
