# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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