dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
