i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
organizing the empties. That sober.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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