I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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