I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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