I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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