I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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